Don't mess up on a slow news day...

The saying goes “Everyone dies famous in small town.” Being from a small town, I totally get that. I also know that even today after almost 6 years of being gone, should news about fabulous MP or anywhere in its vicinity hit the press, my ears instantly perk up.

While on my daily peruse of the online Des Moines Register today, I came across: High School Golf Coach Charged With OWI While Driving Team. Sounded interesting… especially when a quick skim shows the coach represented our conference rivals just 20 miles away. Now I’m hooked.

In case you don’t want to read the story yourself, this happened at 7:55 this morning on the way to a girl’s golf meet. Yes, the headline was true - with students in the car. The vehicle was already sitting on the side of the road when approached and had made it a solid 40 miles from their origin.

I assumed this golf coach had to be a twenty something, fresh out of college, pulled an all-nighter. Here’s the mug shot. Yep, it’s a great one. She’s definitely old enough to know better (59 years old?! Come on).

My question still is: if she were still legally intoxicated at 7:55 this morning, she had to have been at one killer party. On a Tuesday night. In a small town.

I typically try not to (publicly) laugh at another’s misfortune, but this one is so unintelligent I couldn’t help myself.

So, if you’re a middle school teacher and/or girls golf coach looking for a change of pace, I think there will soon be an opening in southeast Iowa.